butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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