There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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