seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
