Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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