Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
