Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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