It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He passed out mid-signature
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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