This is not my ceiling
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
you never un-have a 4some
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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