North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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