didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
