This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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