I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
