And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
