And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
