i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
