I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
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I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
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I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize