I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
