wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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