i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
