We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
