cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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