He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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