Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I checked into jail on foursquare
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
