Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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