I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
