bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
