I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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