This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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