a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
