is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize