When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
