Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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