How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
