he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
