google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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