I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
