you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think I am morally bankrupt
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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