no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
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oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
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just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
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