im gay
i know
yea but for you.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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