I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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