How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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