No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
