omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just high enough for therapy.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
