is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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