lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize