I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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