I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
