HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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