i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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