Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
