Don't you send me to vm
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
