Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
