How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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