Me too!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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