it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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