We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
