it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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