I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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