Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
