It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
