so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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