Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My vagina is officially offended.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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